December 27, 2023

Freedom or responsibility? Here’s why you need both, and in a good balance for mental and emotional health.

Viktor Frankl, the founder of Logotherapy, had an interesting idea.

He advised that along with the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast, a Statue of Responsibility be built on the West Coast. It’s true that in our societies today, freedom has been placed on a pedestal, and responsibility – the other side of the coin – seems to have fallen out of favor.

But the reality is, whether we like it or not, both freedom and responsibility are equally important to mental as well as wider societal health. The lack of balance between the two is psychologically devastating to an individual just as it is to a society.

While freedom is sexy (and valuable) for obvious reason, responsibility has a bit of a bad aura around it. People relate it to doing things that are hard and not always pleasant, things that require discipline and commitment.

But guess what, this is how personal growth, goal attainment and everything worth living for happens – through commitment and consistent action. It is through responsible action that we find meaning and through meaning we find fulfilment and happiness.

This is why, Logotherapy, as a philosophy and therapy that is built around our fundamental need for meaning, is also called education to responsibility.

It heals through teaching us to:

1.Take responsibility in those areas of our lives that are within our control and for which we are morally responsible. For example, caring for our children or aging parents, becoming self-sustaining individuals so we are not a burden on others, helping a loved-one in need, etc.

While these may require an effort, they lead to maturity – another word for growth. Growth leads to satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment. Acting responsibly allows us to tap into another very basic human need – the need to be needed and useful.

2. Not feel responsible for things outside our control. You’ll be surprised how often people feel responsible (and thus guilty) for things outside their control. For example, not being able to play with their kids when they have a chronic disease that prevents them or feeling responsible for how other people feel or what they may think, etc.

We should keep in mind two things.

First, each one of us is responsible for our own life, growth, happiness, thoughts and emotions, etc.- and how we manage those. We should refuse to take responsibility for things which are the domain of others and their responsibility. In other words, we need healthy boundaries.

Second, there are events and circumstances in life outside our control. These need to be accepted and dealt with stoically. We should not feel guilty about those.

Frankl also talked about responsibleness, to be distinguished from responsibility. This is our ability to respond in a responsible way even in situations where we are not the ones responsible per se. This is a higher level of responsibility taking stemming from higher consciousness. For example, picking up a piece of trash somebody dropped – so the place is nice and clean for others.