The year is 1937, the place – the Parisian theater “Atelier”.
Jean Cocteau is holding auditions for his version of Oedipus the King. He is 48 years old at the time, a god-like figure in the intellectual and art world of pre-war Paris.
A 24 year-old completely unknown Jean Marais shows up to audition. They meet for the first time – a meeting that is going to change their lives forever.
After that day Cocteau disappeared from the face of the Earth for two months. One evening two months later Marais’ phone rings. It’s Cocteau who has a confession “There’s a catastrophe. I’ve fallen in love with you.” he says.
This is the beginning of a 26 year old relationship that is the epitome of true love.
The two men were inseparable. They worked together, lived together, went out together, traveled together. Cocteau polished Marais and brought out of his soul the artist and intellectual that was dormant in him. He supported Marais’ career and turned him into an international film star.
Marais, in turn, brought out the best in his lover too. He was Cocteau’s muse; Cocteau wrote some of his best works for Marais, including “Terrible Parents” inspired by the dysfunctional relationship of Marais with his mother. In the name of Marais, Cocteau succeeded in doing the unthinkable – giving up smoking the opium he was severely addicted to and that was killing him.
In 26 years together the two are said to have never fought once.
When Cocteau died on 11 October 1963 it’s as though Marais’ life ended that day too.
In his farewell address to Cocteau after his death, Marais wrote “Jean I am not weeping. I will fall asleep. I will fall asleep with my eyes toward you and I will die, because from now on I will only pretend to be alive”. And pretend he did.
Marais withdrew from public life. The rest of his life was spent as much under Cocteau’s mark as when he was alive. Marais created a sculpture in memory of Cocteau, wrote the book “The inconceivable Cocteau”, and produced his plays. To mark the 20th year anniversary of Cocteau’s death Marais wrote and produced the play “Cocteau – Marais”.
He died on 8 November 1998 of heart failure – surely still heart broken by the death of the love of his life.
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What an incredible story, hm? Two men who were blessed by destiny with the ultimate gift – the gift of connecting with another soul so deeply, so intensely, so beautifully that your whole life is transformed. Meeting someone so special that they help give birth to your authentic, true, honest self. To your highest potential, to your best version. There’s before and after. There’s no fear, no circumstance strong enough to deter or defeat this love – the ultimate test.
When I read Marais and Cocteau’s story, I couldn’t help but think that what unfolded between the two is the innermost dream, the deepest desire of all of us. The desire to find, among billions of people, that someone that you can truly call a soulmate. These two were incredibly blessed.
But in their story I also see several invaluable lessons too.
You never know what’s behind the corner
Truly, you never know what tomorrow could bring. Today it may seem like your life is falling apart, the world is crumbling. You may be going through hardship. You may be experiencing a heartbreak. You may struggle to make sense of life. But when you take action, when you show courage – such as the courage Marais had to show up to that audition – a small act like this may change your life forever. Literally, it could be a before and after moment. And the reality is, we don’t need that much to have our lives turn from struggle into fairytale. A single encounter with a single person – whether in terms of career or personal life – can change our whole world. It could change how we experience life altogether. Just one person.
You never know what you’re really after
We pursue goals with the intention of getting one thing but oftentimes life has something else in stock for us. And instead of the gift we’re asking for, we get a gift we never expected but maybe truly needed. My point is, while it’s good to have intentions and pursue goals, we should recognise that maybe the journey we’re on is a journey to a different destination – one we didn’t know we needed to get to. We should be open to what life presents us with because sometimes it is a gift beyond our wildest dreams.
The power of love but also maturity
The relationship of Cocteau and Marais sounds like a magical story of love, art, success, glamor. But it was a relationship between two different people after all and as every relationship it surely had its struggles. Undoubtedly, at the very least because of the fact that it was a relationship between two men that unfolded in the 20th century. Paris has always been more forward-thinking and tolerant than most places but even so surely Cocteau and Marais must have met the odd close-minded soul. Despite all, they managed to build and preserve a relationship of 26 years. To me, this is a testament to the power of true love. But surely also to the fact that they met at a time when they were both mature and strong enough to be able to grow together rather than apart.
I’ll leave you with a quote by Cocteau I love for its deep wisdom “What the public criticizes in you, cultivate. It is you.”
